What we’ve been up to:
There are days that are important, and the second they end and your body lands on your bed you know that they were important, that you had changed, but not all important days are like that.
There was one very important day, it was about 15 months ago, and it was a very important day. Incredibly important, but I didn’t know at the time that it would be important. I can’t even remember it actually.
It was the day that I gave up.
I was ready to publish this again, I’m almost certain that all I had to do was hit the publish button but I didn’t. There were eight pieces of content, everything was designed. In hindsight I have no idea why I didn’t publish it. It must have been emotional that I was afraid of some minor success, or that my brain was too focused on moving halfway across the world to handle anymore anxiety. The closest thing I can get to remembering is the feeling of being bombarded with questions….
-What are we doing here? What is the purpose of this?
- Why would anyone want to read anything on the internet?
- Why would anyone visit a website that is all text, and juvenile attempts at design?
- How do you persuade people to read, what value do you give them?
- What happens after you die?
- Will I die in an earthquake? I was convinced that I would die in an earthquake at this time, and that I had less than twelve months to live. It was a serious premonition at the time.
Egotistical questions all of them, I’m afraid to admit. I also rather egotistically assumed in a way that I knew wasn’t really true that I would just become a writer after I graduated, and that I would just do that, but obviously that was more realistic in a fantasy than it was in a reality.
This is supposed to be funny. I almost forgot. Here are some sketches of the earlier version of the site. Everything is basically pieces of the old site, the one that never got released, with new pieces added in the middle in red. The theme of the month is redemption.
Our original front page was supposed to look like this,
I spent a lot of time on my cousin Duke’s couch designing those sweet palm trees. I was going through this geometry apologism phase, I think I still might be, when I was trying to design everything with basic geometric shapes. It’s a great concept, definitely not my own. The problem is that I’m really bad at it. I worked on this one recently, I’m actually pretty happy with the way that it looks. I just don’t like the words I wrote actually. I wanted it to come off sort of sarcastically and it didn’t really. You can’t write sarcasm.
So then we had this octopus, and we were going to put hyperlinks around his tentacles. It was basically a reproduction of an outline of this kind of very shroomy octopus that I had drawn by hand.
<insert old vector octopus>
I had this vision that we were going to fire all of the U.S. Senate. It was going to be like all political and relevant and shit, if that makes any sense. We were going to write 100 letters, and send them all out, right before we were about to graduate college as well. Boy was that an undertaking that I was not prepared to see to the end. I wrote maybe one email length letter. There was going to be a cool octopus Uncle Sam thing, but I didn’t even start that.
So, after a long period of adjustment. I was basically doing my own thing in China, not really writing much. I’m still working on my novel, but completely uprooting yourself into a new place can be bad for extreme productivity. Dean Chatham hit me up at 1:21 am China time, and I knew it had to be on after that.
It took months to renew our website subscriptions and to pay for everything. Not having visa cards, and trying to make online payment in China can be difficult. Our order history is like three pages of failed payments. But we finally got it working.
We have this interview Dean, who’s got a new mixtape out. Next week, we will have two more pieces of content, and then the week after that two more. There will be 8 every month under a common theme.
I hope you enjoy reading this. Thank you.